The Phallic Road Trip

Up bright and early at Justin’s house, about to grab breakfast before hitting the road early this afternoon for Milwaukee. It’s Day 1 of our journey. Tonight, we’ll visit Miller Park — our 21st park (Justin’s 14th) — to see the Milwaukee Brewers play the Houston Astros.

For the most part, we’re well-rested. John and I got to Justin’s house here in Chicago on Sunday, to be here for Justin’s birthday on Monday, when we saw the Cubs beat the Dodgers 3-1 at Wrigley. The day before, John and I met a friend of mine in Atlanta to visit Turner Field, where Jeff Francoeur hit a walk-off home run against the Arizona Diamondbacks in another 3-1 game.

Two good games so far, 11 to go.

It begins.

We couldn’t make this up.

Some road trips really push the bar. Earlier this month, three friends set out to visit all 48 continental states as quickly as possible, finishing in just over 106 hours. In 2004, a Seattle couple completed their three-year odyssey that took them to every major- and minor- league ballpark in North America.

Our idea for this summer’s road trip was more simple: visit the ten remaining Major League Baseball parks that we had not yet seen.

Phil, Justin and I sat down earlier this year, during our final semester of college in New York City, with baseball schedules in hand to identify when we would make it to each park – from Milwaukee and Minneapolis to Seattle, through the Bay Area and into Southern California, before finishing through Phoenix and Denver.

Simple enough. Starting in Chicago, using Justin’s family’s Jeep, we planned to defy the specter of rising gas prices and set out on a 7,500-mile journey. But it wasn’t until we sat down with the help of Google Maps to draft our route that we could really define our trip – the Phallic Road Trip.

No, we did not do this intentionally. Our mission to see all 30 ballparks began in June 2007, when the three of us blitzed through the Midwest – from Chicago to Baltimore – seeing eight parks in eight days. Later, in August, while Justin clowned around, Phil and I visited the pairs of parks in Florida, Texas and Missouri.

This past April, we all took weekend trips from New York to Fenway Park in Boston, to Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia, and to the new Nationals Park in Washington DC. A quick flight to Atlanta last weekend brought Phil and I to Turner Field, our 20^th ballpark – with Justin’s total now at 13.

The West is the final frontier on our way to fulfilling our manifest destiny. Starting Saturday, we will visit 16 states, 2 provinces and 11 stadiums (revisiting Busch Stadium in St. Louis) in 39 days, using the drives to and from the coast (the shaft, if you will) to explore some national parks and detour into Canada.

As the trip progresses, we will keep you posted on our whereabouts, the places we see and the people we meet. Along with stories and pictures, we will track statistics, ranging from the miles traveled to the number of high notes hit while singing the Leona Lewis classic, Bleeding Love.

The ride will be long and sometimes hard, but we are excited. Keeping it up for 39 days won’t be easy, but we know the end will probably come too soon.

Stay tuned.