The Phallic Road Trip

Hello ladies and gents, friends and family, creepy pedophile dudes that read our blog and are terribly disappointed:

Now that we have reached Day 18, I think it’s a good time for a brief summary of some things that I have realized since we have started our journey.

Number 1: There is absolutely nothing in the states of North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming. Outside of a few large cities (probably the capital) there is very little civilization in these states. You know your state has nothing in it when there are advertisements for a drug store 123 miles away.

Number 2: Canada gets a bad rap. Having been to Canada two other times prior to this trip and enjoying it, I was not surprised that on my third trip, I liked it even more. Calgary is awesome. It is about an hour away from Banff (also awesome) and yet still has everything you’d expect and like about a big city. First plus, the women: Canadian women were very nice and very blonde. Maybe not a plus for everyone, but one for me. Another plus is their love of hockey. A major con, however, is little or no knowledge of baseball. They have adopted our poor eating habits with our fast food chains; it’s about time they get baseball. Also, British Columbia is absolutely stunning and worth a trip for those that are into mountains and all that other outdoorsy stuff.

Number 3: Northern California is scary. The redwood forest was really cool. The drifters that inhabit the town outside of the forest, not so much. I think Arnold needs to redraw the state line.

Number 4: In-N-Out burger is damn good. I’ve always wanted to try it and it definitely delivered. I will probably make us go there many times throughout our stay in California.

Number 5: Blond beard = not attractive. Yes, I have not shaved, and also yes, I look like a complete clown. I am hoping that it will be very sunny in California so that it (and me in general) will be hard to see in the light.

Quote of the day:

Me (reading billboard on the side of the road in Nor Cal): Jesus loves you, Bruer.

John: That’s nice of him.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 at 10:48 pm and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.